Week Eight Matchups
by Reggie Truitt
posted on October 29, 2004 10:21 am

RRT CASINOS is back with lines on all six games this week. We will be featuring 3 huge matchups that will have playoff implications. Yes, it is hard to believe, but the playoff picture is now in sight. Mathmatically, every team in the league is still capable of landing a playoff spot; However, a few teams might be counting their chickens real soon.

GAME 1: Oinkpigs (3-4) vs. Running Mad (3-4)

Both of these teams are currently riding that so-called playoff bubble. A win this week will keep either one of these teams in the mix for another couple weeks. The loser of this game will have to scratch and claw their way back into contention. Or, in the Pigs case, eat and shit his way back into the playoffs.

The first thing I noticed about the Pigs lineup: What a bunch of bitch wide receivers! The second thing I noticed about the Pigs lineup: He is carrying 2 Kickers!

The Pigs will be starting K. McCardell, C.Johnson, and R. Wayne at wideout. Now I like Reggie (how could I not), but he was pushing and shoving with his QB last week. And if Peyton isn't careful he might get a "Bullet in the Fuckin' Head!" C. Johnson doesn't know when to shut his trap and I gaurantee there are guys out there head hunting this Cinci wideout. And do I really need to say anything about McCardell. You signed the fucking contract. Shut up and play. You should have fired your agent.

Team Oinkpigs will be enjoying one more week of C. Taylor in the Baltimore backfield, and he better take advantage of it. Along with L.Tomlinson in the backfield the Pigs should put up good points.

Now to the kicking situation; Drop Wilkins, pick up Kaeding, pick Wilkins back up while he is on a Bye. What? I'm sure Portman, Cosby, and Turd appreciate the donation.

Running Mad will bring his lowest scoring team into this contest without widereceivers M. Clayton, D. Stallworth, and running back D. McAllister. All three will be enjoying the week off at home with the wife and kids. Throw on some more bad news as it looks like B. Westbrook could be lost due to an injury this week, and Running is officially Mad.

This forces L. Coles and T. Pinkston into starting roles this week at wideout. And will bring A. Zereoue off the bench as well. If Westbrook is indeed out for the week, Mad will be looking to make a late transaction to fill the #2 spot at running back.

Team Mad will need a small prayer to accomplish another slim victory, but we don't see how the Oinkpigs could fold and not score enough points to pick up another win.

RRT CASINOS LINE:
Oinkpigs -26.5
Running Mad

GAME 2: The Cosby Sweaters (5-2) vs. Banger 9 (4-3)

The trash talking has already begun between these two heated rivals, and this is exactly what the IIFFL needs. More trash. The Sweaters come in with the better record, and is on a recent roll by winning his last 3 games. Banger however has come across some bad luck this year, and is a much better team than the record shows. In fact Banger has scored slightly more points this year than both 5-2 teams in the IIFFL.

Team Cosby has been featured 3 or 4 times already this year, so writing about this over-hyped team is becoming boring, but here it is. The sweaters are forced to start J. Plummer at QB this week, because his boyfriend is taking the week off in Cleveland. Plummer does have a favorable matchup at home against an Atlanta team that gave up a ton of points and yards last week to Kansas City. At running back, the “Two-Headed Monster” of C. Martin and E. James will score significant points. The biggest blow to the sweaters this week is at wide receiver. J. Horn has a bye week, and must be replaced by either M. Booker, N. Burleson, or P. Price. We prefer Burleson, and as of press time that is exactly who the Sweaters are going with. This team is currently in limbo at the tight end position with two productive receivers. The sweaters have decided to start Shockey, instead of A. Gates this week. Thus, starting quite a controversy around the Cosby Sweaters compound.

Banger 9 has a roster that is loaded with fantasy talent and capable of putting together a huge winning streak at any time, so why is he not getting the job done thus far? The Casino expects that coaching may have something to do with it. For example, starting the aging E. Kennison; While benching the often productive A. Toomer, and the big play potential of M. Muhammad.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who to start at running back for this team. If you can’t start Jesus himself, you might as well start a Priest in his spot. Along with Holmes, the Banger also starts the aging, but still very solid fantasy player C. Dillon. These two backs by themselves could carry a fantasy team deep into the season. Banger also enjoys solid play from T. Brady every week at quarterback. But, the backbone of this team has to be the best defense in the league. The Eagles have improved the pass rush and run defense enormously this year, and are creating many turnovers.

This game is huge, not only for bragging rights, but also in terms of where the two teams could finish the season. For Banger to be a .500 team after 8 weeks would be a shame and disappointment. For The Sweaters to lose and knock himself right out of a spot to content for first place would also be a huge disappointment. But, the worst part is getting beat by your biggest rival and one of your best friends. But, bragging rights might not last that long as these two teams could easily hook up again in the playoffs.

RRT CASINOS LINE:
Banger9
The Cosby Sweaters –2.5

GAME 3: Turd Fergusson (5-2) vs. Mr. Natalie Portman (6-1)

Speaking of getting sick of writing about a teams roster every week. Both of these teams seem to make the article every week. Portman has been covered extensively thanks to the once undefeated season. Which lasted much longer than I had predicted in this column. The Turd has been hanging around all year, and just refuses to be flushed. But, this might be the week that someone finally gets out the plunger and removes this "shit stain" for awhile. This could also be the week that Team Portman President Ryan Woods figures out that he has some holes to fill.

Turd Fergusson comes into the week without any momentum and maybe stumbling a little. We can’t wait to find out if this team comes out swinging like Brad Boyd or just running their mouths like Chris Doesyourassitch. After putting up a 100 point week and getting beat by The Cosby Sweaters last week, another defeat would surely shake things up at the Shit Bowl Camp.

Turd does have a healthy squad coming into the week, but they will be missing I. Bruce and J. Pathon due to BYES. These roles should be filled in nicely by E. Moulds, and K. Robinson. That is IF Bledsoe can get the ball to Moulds and IF Robinson doesn’t start serving a suspension and IF Robinson can hang onto the damn ball. Quarterback B. Farve will be playing at Washington this week with a heavy heart. Finding out some bad news this week concerning his wife could take a toll on the future Hall of Famer. At Running Back, the trade for R. Droughns keeps getting bigger every week. This week because T. Henry is no longer the starter in Buffalo. Along with Droughns in the backfield the Turd will be starting his stud C. Portis. D. Akers will be kicking at home against a stingy Baltimore defense. And team defense Jacksonville is at home against a young, but talented Houston offense.

Team Portman is coming off their most unproductive week of the season, and needs to rebound suddenly against a very tough opponent this week. If this teams loses again the race for first place will be a horse race to the finish. Three or four different teams will be looking to make a move to the top. Portman has no reason to be concerned. Yet!

Team Portman is losing number one wideout T. Holt and backup quarterback A. Brooks this week thanks to a BYE. This forces D. Givens into a starting role once again and moves H. Ward back into the number one role for the week. Where he was expected to be all season. At running back, Team Portman continues to rely on the surprise production of T. Jones in Chicago. Also, Portman seems to be sticking with W. Dunn over D. Staley at the number 2 postion. Starting at Tight End is the once dominant, but recently slacking superstart T. Gonzalez. The basketball season is starting soon; so this big man could continue to be distracted. This teams QB finally came back down to earth last week, and it really had an affect on the entire team. D. Culpepper was without his big time receiver last week and struggled putting up the ridiculous numbers that he has been posting all year. Culpepper will be back at home again this week and appears to have Moss back in the lineup, so don’t expect a repeat performance from this stud.

This game should come down to the wire and picking a winner will be as hard as the Sweaters vs. Bangers matchup that was featured before it. The CASINO loves controversy and would love to see 3 or 4 teams battling for first place. But, that won’t be the case this week.

RRT CASINOS LINE:
Turd Fergusson
Mr. Natalie Portman -7

IOA LINES:

Robintucky Raiders -15.5
Defending Champs

MILF Divers -11
Hoochie Mamas

Meat Helmets -5
Barbie Boppers

WE HAVE A MAURY POVICH UPDATE!
The Oinkpigs have once again dropped Wilkins. Mo’ Money Mo’ Money.