Week Four Wrapup
by Ryan Woods
posted on October 6, 2004 12:10 pm

After the first quarter of the NFL season and almost a third of the FFL regular season, some teams are emerging as powerhouses and others are looking more like outhouses. Let’s look at how this week’s games played out and see where the teams are headed:

0!nkp!gs v. Robintucky Raiders

In the only game that had a lower score than mine this week, there were a lot of surprises, both good and bad. In a battle if ineptitude, both teams’ quarterbacks combined for –2 points. The real difference in this game came from a backup RB for the Texans in Jonathan Wells. His spirited performance propelled an otherwise moribund team to a victory this week. When most teams are hitting mid-season form, the Pigs and Raiders seem to be taking a step back. I’ll be interested to see how they respond next week.

Turd Fergusson v. MILF Divers

Turd has been on a tear this season, and this week was no different. With solid performances from everyone but his defense and a receiver, Turd almost doubled the point total of MILF, etching his name in the record book for what may be a LONG time for the most lopsided victory. Between two receivers, a running back, and a tight end, MILF got a total of -.2 points. Most teams wouldn’t be able to overcome adversity like that even with stellar performances from all other aspects of his squad. At 2-2, MILF will still be able to turn this thing around, but right now Turd is in the driver’s seat for top honors in the league.

BANGER9 v. Defending Champs!

This game is a lot bigger than the teams’ records show. The BANGERS and the Champs are 2nd and 4th in points scored this season, but they are a combined 2-6. That is proof that the fantasy gods do not look kindly upon the high scoring teams. The BANGERS team was solid across the board, and Champs would have needed a nearly flawless run to try and take him out. Unfortunately, a down day for McNabb and Justin McCariens giving owners no clue as to why he was drafted did not help this team. There is a strong possibility that by the end of week 13, these team records could be 11-2 and 9-4. That’s how strong these squads are playing right now.

Hoochie Mamas v. Barbie Boppers

In what will be chalked up as the Mamas first win this season, he got inspired play from a couple of Houston players. David Carr has been a nice surprise in the first four games this season, posting solid numbers for the owner who chooses to start him. The real difference maker in this game was the kickers, though. Elam put up 15 points for the Mamas, while Longwell only put up 1 for Barbie. Another big hit that the Boppers team took was the complete letdown of Rod Gardner. After a 30+ point performance the week before, he follows it with 2.65 points. Even more proof that he can’t be trusted as a starter.

Cosby Sweaters v. Meat Helmets

Somehow, the Helmets crept in to a 3-1 record, and they stand alone in 3rd place in the league. They made up for sub-par performances from Ashley Lelie with another outstanding showing from Tiki Barber. If you would have told me before the draft that Thomas Jones, Tiki Barber, and Curtis Martin would all be in the top 5 at this point, I would have told you that you were crazy, but it’s happening. This has been a benefit to both of these teams. If the Titans would have even sneezed on the ball, Cosby would have taken this game. Instead, they let the Chargers look like the ’93 Cowboys on them…pitiful!

Mr. Natalie Portman v. Running Mad

In what looked to be a blowout, we saw the closest game of the week. It all came down to Monday night with Trent Green against Tony Gonzalez and Matt Stover. Portman took the victory by only 4.41 points, which may be the second closest win this year. Running Mad is starting to get his team to gel, and if he can get his second running back taken care of, he’ll be a force toward the end of the year. In a sign of things to come, Portman showed a weakness by having a key member of his starting lineup on a bye. If he gets this poor of a performance from his backups, a loss will not be far away.