2004 Draft Grades
by Ryan Woods
posted on September 7, 2004 3:48 pm

0!nkp!g$ - Oink had a great top half of a draft, but on the way down, he made some grave mistakes. Before and after bye weeks, he'll be tough, but when LT goes on a bye, who's going to be at the RB position? Right now, his best bet is Kevin Faulk…a guy who struggled to put up 10 points when he was the ONLY back in New England. Also, most people like to choose backup WRs that have DIFFERENT bye weeks than their three starters…just a suggestion. Maybe he sees Ike Hilliard having a breakout year, which would warrant having him on your roster. If he does, that would make you one of the most astute fantasy football players in the country.
Overall Grade: C+

BANGER9 - Although I don't know all the storied history behind Banger, I feel that you guys give him far more grief than he deserves (the K. Rob 11th round pick being the exception). He's actually put a pretty solid team together for himself. Just for future reference, though, when you draft backups for your squad, that doesn't mean that you have to draft guys that are ACTUAL BACKUPS in the NFL! Ramsey-backup, Kitna-backup, Thomas-backup. Hell, if it wasn't for everyone else in the league, he would have drafted the Patriots backup TE! Oh, and you also get downgraded for drafting two kickers.
Overall Grade: B-

Barbie Boppers - Barbie has put himself together a nice looking squad. He's got a lot of quality in the starting lineup, and he's got a lot of depth. If I had to pick one weak spot on the team, it would be at Tight End. Unless you have one of the big three names at the position, though, that will always be a concern. Barbie had a great draft!
Overall Grade: A

Defending Champs - The Champs are an average looking team this year. He didn't draft a lot of quality depth, and that could hurt him. Even with TO in Philly, I think it's a stretch to draft McNabb in the second round. His second running back (and all of his backups) are question marks. If Jones secures the starting job sometime this year, he could be huge. Until then, he's splitting carries, which translates into poor fantasy numbers. Mason and McCareins are solid #1 and #2 receivers who could both have huge years. Based on how he drafted, I assume he'll put Johnnie Morton in the #3 spot. He's hurt, but he doesn't put up numbers when he plays well. Troy Brown may be a better fit at #3 for this squad.
Overall Grade: B-

Hoochie Mamas - The Mamas have a pretty high caliber squad if a couple of guys play up to expectations (I'm looking at you, Jerry Porter). Hoochie has no running back depth. I know this because Travis Minor is my #3 back in my other league, and I'm scared to death! He does have a nice bunch of receivers that could put up quality numbers this year,
though.
Overall Grade: B

Meat Helmets - This is a quality team! He's got a few sleepers (Lelie and Terrell), a few proven veterans(Harrison and Martin), and a few guys with something to prove (K Rob, Driver, Vick…). If Vick falters or gets hurt, I'm not sure if Delhomme is strong enough to take up the slack. That's the only real question mark that I see.
Overall Grade: A-

MILF Divers - Proof that experience pays dividends. MILF has a solid team with solid backups. He even secured the most coveted of #2 backs in the league, Steven Jackson and Willis McGahee. The man even throws his favorite team a bone by drafting their tight end. The one knock I have on his squad is Marc Bulger, but that's more of a personal opinion of his talent, which has no basis in fact.
Overall Grade: B+

Mr. Natalie Portman - The draft that I had was exactly what I wanted, and now I have to live and die by the monster that I created. I went into this draft (and my other one) thinking that Quentin Griffin, Thomas Jones, and Duce Staley could be 13-18 point a week backs that could be had REALLY late compared to other studs. Based on that assumption, I basically pissed on the Faulk strategy and took strength at every other position. Truth be told, I chickened out of going in 100% on my plan. After my two backs were selected, I was going to take the Patriots D, then Mike Vanderjagt (both of which we're ranked #1 on my cheat sheet). This would have sunk me during my RB bye weeks, though. Since I wussed on going for the clean sweep of studs everywhere but RB, I have to be graded accordingly.
Overall Grade: B-

Robintucky Raiders - There's no nice way to put this. One good QB…one and a half good RBs…everything else looks like Eastern Florida this week. You can't blame a telephone, or fan loyalty, or an ill advised trade on the fact that Robintucky knowingly drafted the Bears Defense. If there is a God in Heaven, he will have me playing the Robintucky Raiders twice this year.
Overall Grade: D+

Running Mad - For being his first fantasy draft, Running Mad has himself a decent team. He drafted Trent Green too early, although he's a fine QB. He's not really deep past his starting roster, but once we're beyond bye weeks, he could be tough. If we we're grading on a curve, he's get a few bonus points for being new.
Overall Grade: C+

The Cosby Sweaters - I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat after the draft because I had a nightmare that Jake Plummer was my starting QB. I went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face, when a strange calm came over me. That wasn't my team at all…it was The Cosby Sweaters! That combined with the “Old Folks Home” reserve receivers he has (Booker and Rice) adds up to a REALLY shaky squad come mid-season. If Plummer has a good season, ‘Cos could be tough. If he falters, this could be a long year for the team formerly known as Ron Jeremy Shockeys. This grade does not include the upgrade at RB that he traded for.
Overall Grade: C

Turd Fergusson - And last, but not least, my vote for the best team name this year. Other than having two QBs who's combined age is 75, Turd seems to have a decent squad. He's got no running back depth, but maybe that's his plan. He was trying to draft a team full of guys who's bye week is Week 3, so he could have strength throughout the rest of the season. That's ingenious! The only quality depth that he has is at the WR position. If he could trade away some of that talent, he could go far, but I've never seen a team win consistently only with stud receivers.
Overall Grade: C