2007 Draft Grades
by Ryan Woods
posted on September 8, 2007 3:12 pm

Well, well, where do I start? Again this year, there will be some happy people in this league and some people that will have to take summer school to overcome the grade that they’ll be getting for their piss-poor teams. I actually thought I was going to get through the whole league without giving someone lower than a C until I hit the stinker of a team at the end. Without further ado, it’s now time to roll out the IIFFL Draft Grades 2007…

BANGER9: B

Whatever happened to the ½? Losing it actually helped him draft a decent squad. Romo is a great QB, but I question Steve McNair as his backup. Jones-Drew will need to replicate last year’s output to be a quality #2 RB (which is no easy task), and if he doesn’t, Warrick Dunn is three carries away from retirement. He may need to make a trade during the season. The receiving corps is solid, but Galloway, Bennett, Booker, and Toomer don’t scare anyone as a #3.

Turkey Creek_Nate: B-

After a year out of the league, Nate has come back in the league with an intent to conquer. Bulger and Leinert are a great 1-2 punch at QB, and he’s in great shape with his receivers, but I’d like a lot more depth than Correll Buckhalter if I had a Cadillac in my garage. Not a bad draft.

Turd Fergusson: C+

Turd made the best move in the draft before it even started…he let Portis go and kept Steve Smith. I would not be comfortable with Cutler and Rivers as my quarterback choices, but in order to get a solid #1 this year, you had to reach for one of the big 5 and Turd had other needs. I’m not sold on D-Jax or Chris Chambers this year, but Greg Jennings could be the steal of the draft.

I Picks Cotton: C

Man, I was rough on the new guys last year, so let’s hope that Mick had a better draft, so we won’t have to give the man another D. Vince Young and Rex Grossman…..Mr. Bockstruck, we may be sending a progress report home to your parents. Actually once you get past that, his starting lineup looks decent. Henry and Rudi are a great set of backs, and I like the starting receivers. I wonder about the depth at all positions, though. I’m not a fan of anybody he has sitting on the bench. The grade took a hit because of this.

Tyrannical Teabaggers: A

This has the makings to be a championship team assuming that a few of his young receivers come through. The Teabaggers have tremendous depth at RB and WR, the second best QB in the league, and arguably the second best tight end. If he can pick up quality backups at these spots for bye weeks, we could see our fourth IIFFL champ in four years.

0!nkp!g$: A-

I still haven’t figured it out yet, but somehow, the Pigs find themselves in the money every year. Maybe it has something to do with LT being on his squad. With and RB like that, you don’t need a #2! Receivers look good. If McNabb can stay healthy, he’ll be huge this season. Vernon Davis has huge upside as a tight end this year. It looks like we’ll see this team in the thick of the playoffs again.

Robintucky Raiders: C+

“Receivers are a dime a dozen” are words that will be echoed through the IIFFL Hall of Fame some day. Unfortunately for the Raiders, this phrase will not be uttered when discussing his 2007-2008 squad. A big three of Andre Johnson, Vincent Jackson, and Jerry Porter is scaring no one. After Thursday’s game it looks like Drew Brees may have reverted back to his first few years in the league, but his RBs look solid. Actually not a bad squad if you ignore the WR position.

I Am Chuck Norris: C

The veterans in this league know that I am notorious for giving the rookies bad grades in their first draft. Chuck Norris may have broken that cycle. I’m not going to lavish this team with praise, but he appears to have at least a workable squad. Peyton Manning takes this team a long way. Then again, I don’t thing I’d be comfortable with a stable of Willis McGahee, Tatum Bell, Rueben Droughns, and Anthony Thomas. By my count, I see a #2, #3, #5, and #6 RB there. Do we really have to guess how successful this season will be?

Team Witz: B

It would be great if I could put a joke in here like “Team Half Witz” or something equally clever, but overall this team doesn’t look too bad. Of course Randy Moss has to play like the traffic cop hitting, walking off the field before the game is over Moss that we knew in Minnesota instead of the not really trying that hard, almost forgot that he was as annoying as TO Moss that we knew in Oakland. Time will tell if Witz reached way to high for one player…

Mr. Natalie Portman: C

What draft grade can I give myself this season? Well, My top two guys are both from the same squad, I drafted a defense in the fifth round, and I left the draft early. Needless to say, this draft is MUCH different than I have drafted in the past. I like my receivers and my defense. I am not happy with Eli Manning, Heath Miller, and Ahman Green in my starting lineup. Weird draft for me.

Hell’s Grannies: C-

The king of successfully NOT planning before the draft has a scary receiving trio. And by scary, I mean I probably could have taken my grandma out of the nursing home and had more success. I guess that’s fitting considering the name of the team that I am grading. Tom Brady is a solid QB, but he will never win you a week. The Grannies have solid RB depth if a couple of guys step up.

Crosby Sweaters: D+

Hasselbeck, Moss, Clayton, Benson, Bush, Jones, Horn, Foster, Jones, Jones. I am going to petition the league to change the name of this guy’s team to The Riddler for all the question marks he’s got on his squad. There is no problem taking a flyer on a couple of guys, but having a whole roster full of them is not a way to bring home The Dink. I may sit half of my starters just to give Crosby a shot at beating me in Week 7.